me trying to do my homework at 3am:
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every now and my cat does something very human like and i get very nervous and ask him “are you a person trapped in a cat’s body. or did you choose this body” very seriously to see if this time he will communicate with me and he always kinda looks to the side and then does what i imagine to be a person doing a bad impression of a cat and it makes me so nervous cuz i do way too much weird shit around my cat for him to actually be a dude pretending to be a cat
When I was about ten or so I was very suspicious of our cat. He was the biggest cat I’d ever seen (Maine Coon) and he was way too smart and patient to be a real cat. I’m talking would come and pet my hair when I was crying. When he had a hairball he would run into the kitchen so he could throw up on the linoleum instead of the carpet.Hunting robins was too pedestrian for him. He’d bring home magpies and blue jays. He let my baby brother pull on his tail, chew his ear, roll over him, on a regular basis. He was nothing like any other cat I’ve met.
So one day I asked him if he was secretly a wizard. I shit you not, he looked at me, winked, and looked away. We adopted him as an lived at least nineteen years, possibly more. I’m still not entirely convinced he was just a cat.
found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom
I like how some of these responses are polite and even sexy and others are just sick burns. Truly a guide for every situation.
I’m “maybe you should try the next size down”
Unpopular opinion:
Not all dogs…
Are good boys.
Sometimes…
They are good girls!!!!1!!
UNBLOCKED
You have to learn how to say no without you feeling like you’re being mean. Setting boundaries is how you see who does and doesn’t respect you, your time, or your emotional well-being. Anyone who sees your boundaries and thinks your being mean or tries to push that boundaries is not a person you owe your time or attention.
“This is one more piece of advice I have for you: don’t get impatient. Even if things are so tangled up you can’t do anything, don’t get desperate or blow a fuse and start yanking on one particular thread before it’s ready to come undone. You have to realize it’s going to be a long process and that you’ll work on things slowly, one at a time.”
— Haruki Murakami (via virgoassbitch)
“But their music is so good!!”
Omfg
Yes offense I don’t give 2 bitches and a flying cooch
A bit of Nostalgia
(photoset: by
Maria)
Please don’t delete the link to the photographers/artists, thanks!
skills i have mastered
- not texting back
- procrastinating
- painting my nails like a blind pre-schooler
- sleeping a lot
- being single